Highlights for Are You Showing Up?
- Showing up sounds easy, but… (0:25)
- Sometimes I have to really work at showing up (2:15)
- How about you? (3:50)
Are You Showing Up?
So, I’ve talked about letting go of expectations, understanding what we want and what’s holding us back, and how we talk to ourselves … now it’s time to show up!
Showing Up Sounds Easy, But…
Showing up sounds easy, but sometimes it’s not. We often have to jump through a lot of hoops – maybe coaching ourselves into it and even sometimes white-knuckling it – to make an appearance.
Showing up is the most important thing you can do for yourself. It is also one of the most important things you can do for the people that you love.
And it looks different for everyone.
For me, showing up means that I’m present, I’m not hiding, I’m willing to be seen, imperfections and all … just being myself.
I want to show up for my friends, my family, and myself.
When I die, no one is going to remember what shirt I had on … or at least I hope they don’t – and if they do, will someone please slap them for me?
What people are going to remember is that I was present. They’re going to remember that I was there for the good and the bad.
I want my nieces and nephews to remember that I was on the sidelines cheering them on, no matter what. Now, I can’t be there every single minute, and I can’t make it to every single one of their events, but I always make an effort to be there. That is what I hope they will remember.
I want my friends to remember that I checked in when their loved one was ill or when they were going through a hard time. I might not have the perfect words, but I was there, and I was available.
Be present even if you’re late – show up.
Even if you’re scared or messy, or you’re feeling insecure – show up.
Be present even if you have no idea what you’re doing – just show up, and do the best you can.
Sometimes I Have to Really Work at Showing Up
One time, I was planning to go to an event, and I got all worked up the night before because I didn’t have anything “nice” to wear.
As my husband Dan pointed out to me, I have an entire closet of full of nice clothes, so not having anything to wear was really just an excuse.
Soooo, what was really driving my meltdown?
I was feeling insecure. I was trying to hide and avoid the event. The truth is, I was not willing to be seen, and I was concocting reasons to not go.
Thankfully for me, Dan is a secret life coach, and he can sniff out my bullshit a million miles away. He asked some really good questions – like, “What’s really going on?” and “Why don’t you want to go?”
I couldn’t hide anymore, and I had to face the truth that I was trying to be invisible. I had a decision to make: be willing to be seen and show up just as I am, flawed and all, or don’t go.
But the idea of not going didn’t feel good to me, either. When faced with the truth … the decision is often clear. It’s not necessarily easier, but it IS clear.
Being willing to be seen requires vulnerability, and vulnerability is necessary for connection, love, and belonging. It’s scary as shit, but it is oh so necessary.
How About You?
What do you need in order to get out of your own way and show up?
Create a plan now for the next time you feel anxious and want to skip out on something because it’s uncomfortable or not easy.
If it’s been on your calendar for a while, and then you decide at the last minute to not go? It’s just fear, and it’s not real.
If you’ve blocked the time and have been looking forward to it, the reason you’re backing out at the end is nothing more than your brain looking for a way out – don’t give in to that terrorist in your mind!
When you don’t show up, you miss the connection and the belonging … and who doesn’t need more connection in their lives?
Even if the event is a work function or networking and you don’t know anyone, you can still feel connected. You can be connected to yourself, you can be connected to other people that you meet, maybe the people at your table or just the human race.
I will say that this is something that we have to practice. It’s not something that’s very easy … it’s not as easy as reading this post or listening to its podcast, and then everything will automatically change. It doesn’t work like that, unfortunately.
It requires us to remember what our intention is … to show up, and then to take action and do it!
Set a daily reminder on your phone that says “Show Up” and look for the next opportunity to do just that!
So, let’s get to practicing…